Looking For An Answer
by Vapor2008
Summary: This is my idea of a conversation I would like to see between Tony and Ziva next week after Ray's proposal.


**Warning: If you have not seen the preview for the Jan 10****th**** episode; don't read!**

**I don't own this show. I don't get why I should have to say that, it should be apparent, but whatever. This is my idea of a conversation I would like to see between Tony and Ziva next week after Ray's proposal. Just an idea that popped in my head. I don't really think there are spoilers since the proposal in is in the previews. Anyway, enjoy.**

'Will you marry me?' The four words that every woman longed to hear at some point in their lives. So why; after hearing those words did Ziva David feel nothing but apprehension? She wanted more of a commitment from Ray than an empty ring box, so why wasn't she saying yes? Why was she standing there without the ability to form any words?

She watched as he shifted nervously and glanced around at the small crowd of people pretending to no longer be watching due to her delay in responding. No one wanted to be caught watching a proposal that didn't immediately result in a yes. Perhaps her apprehension was apparent to them as well. Her eyes shifted around and then landed on Ray again, still down on one knee. He deserved an answer from her; a response in the very least. She walked close enough that only he would hear her. 'I need time, Ray. To think.'

That was obviously not the response he was expecting and she felt a small twinge of guilt at the brief crestfallen expression that passed over his face before he schooled his features. He closed the small box and put it back in his pocket as he stood again. He flashed her an obviously forced smile and took her hands in his. 'Of course, Ziva. Take all the time you need.' He gave her hands a brief squeeze and walked away. Leaving her alone to decide what she wanted.

The events of earlier that day played through her mind over and over as she drove down the familiar roads. Ray had told her to take all the time she needed to think, and she planned on doing just that. What he didn't need to know, though, was that part of that thinking was going to involve talking to someone; her partner. For a reason she wasn't ready to admit to, she knew she couldn't make this decision without talking to Tony first.

Before she was fully prepared for the conversation and well before she even knew what she was going to say, she found herself outside his door. His confusion was evident for only a moment when he opened the door before his cocky smile was firmly in place. 'Well, well. Agent David, isn't this a surprise. Shouldn't you be spending the precious little time CI-Ray will be in town with him?'

'He proposed today, Tony.' Without knowing how to really begin this conversation she found that her mouth spoke of its own accord. So much for approaching this delicately. She was glad it was out in the open though and she watched with a satisfied smugness as the smile was wiped right off his face. She pushed past him and walked a few steps into his apartment turning to face him as he closed the door.

'Well then, now I'm really surprised you're here. Most women like to celebrate with their fiancé when they get engaged.' She couldn't quite read his expression but, as always, knew there was more there than what was evident on a surface level.

'I did not answer him yet.' This time his expression was easy to read; confusion, apprehension, and a hint of something she wasn't ready to face.

'And why would that be, Ziva?' He took a few steps towards her; closer but still distanced. She almost laughed at how that description seemed to sum up their entire relationship, but kept her face neutral; guarded.

'Because I did not know what to say.'

'Yes, is the typical answer women give when their boyfriends propose to them.'

'Most women hear from their boyfriends more than once every seven weeks.'

She knew she was toeing a line, but this needed to come out before she could know what answer to give Ray.

'Do I detect a hint of resentment there, Agent David?'

She deflated emotionally and mentally in that moment, there was no physical evidence of it, but she knew that he could see it. 'Perhaps.'

'You deserve better, Ziva.'

There was that damn line again. They were so close to crossing it. Now, it was the same game as always. Neither would willingly cross that line first, but they would do everything they could to trick the other into taking that first step.

'And what is it that I deserve, Tony?'

The answer was there, so clearly written in his eyes as he made yet another step closer. Close enough to touch, but not. Never touching.

She waited, breath held to see if he would take that step first; to see if he would say what was so obviously written on his face.

'What are you doing here, Ziva?' She couldn't tell if it was relief or disappointment that washed over her at that response.

'Looking for an answer.' Tony cocked his head slightly to the side and let out a frustrated breath. For a moment she was back in that room after the war game gone wrong. When she saw Tony for the first time and her impulse was the touch the cuts on his face. He made this same face then. Silently asking if they were always going to play this game while at the same time begging her to end it. He was obviously waiting for more from her; the truth. 'I do not know what to tell him, Tony.'

Tony smirked slightly at her, 'And you thought coming here would provide that for ya?' She could tell he was getting frustrated with this. With her, this game, this situation that they found themselves in so many times before. His voice was rising slightly and had taken on a disbelieving and sarcastic edge to it. As always, his frustration fueled hers. 'What if I did, Tony? What would that matter?'

His expression turned unreadable as he locked his gaze on hers. The determined seriousness his eyes projected made her take a step back from the sheer force of the gaze. 'I think that should be the answer you're looking for.'

There it was again. The vague hint at what they both knew was there but never directly faced. It was her move now. Tony had brought them as close to that line as he could without either one of them crossing it. She knew it would take one word to finally break their stalemate, one action and they would finally have the chance to explore this thing between them.

She gave her head a quick shake and headed for the door, shoulder bumping his as she passed. She paused in the open doorway, she had to give him something. She knew what move she wanted to make, but Ray needed to hear her answer first. As she walked out she responded to his last statement over her shoulder, hoping he would understand what it meant, 'Yes, I suppose it does.'

**Well, there it is. Review and let me know what you think. This story is much more typical of what I normally write. Vague yet clear if you know what you're looking at. :p Hope you enjoyed!**


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